New Chapter

So I came full circle with a sunset and it’s funny how my life seems to grow in 5 year segments… and right now it feels like a new chapter is about to begin.

2020 was my year of BLESSING and looking back now I realize that my blessings came in various forms of protection. Protection in my job security and health. Protection of my loved ones. Protection in God’s timing: had my 2019 venture to move to Scotland succeeded I would’ve been in a new country, away from loved ones in the middle of a pandemic… Yeah, Carol it would’ve been a shitshow.
Come year’s end and I had a glimpse of Edinburgh becoming a reality again all within a week’s timeframe, but the door closed. Again. I was forced to come to terms and to stop trying to pry the door open. I think even God breathed a sigh of relief when I let go! I applied for a promotion at work and entered the holidays with a mind set to rest after the tumultuous year.

2021 arrived with EXPECTATION and me being hopeful for a better year. Mine started off amazing because I got my promotion! That’s 3 promotions in 4 years but who’s bragging? My Bible study was getting off on the right foot, I was getting back into some favorite hobbies of mine (horse riding and scuba diving) and planning only a month in advance because there’s a glorious thrill in the unknown.
Of course I was still making my little plans of when to do what to reach my dreams: when to start the right discussions, when to start applications what and where and it was only when I read my past journals that a lightbulb went on of sorts. It’s only when you take a step back that you see the intricacy of your testimony weaved in a tapestry over a period of time. Reading back in my journals, I saw time and time again how God answered my prayers very specifically at the right time. I made a decision to pray for my Scotland dream very specifically (i.e. a company transfer) and to trust God with the timing. Obvious, yes, but with this decision came such a sense of peace and the sense of doors opening up emotionally. Gone was the chaos of all the variables because my focus was on the specifics. For a long time I was living this half life while waiting on God. Not buying this or doing that because what if my breakthrough happens next month and then I need to let it all go? It’s about being mindful and living in the moment. Don’t live a half life while you’re waiting on prayers!
I made the decision to get another cat and to move back to Cape Town. If the door opens then God is with you, if it’s closed then God is still with you and even then a closed door doesn’t mean it’s forever. It’s just trusting the next step.

There’s still a lot of year left and things may still change, but for now I eagerly wait to start reading the next page of my tale. And now there will be 2 cats who bite my ankles as I walk towards my destiny.